The mystery oil change

Why pay to have your vehicle oil and filter changed? This little morning adventure may help you decide.

I travel to the parts counter where, the people behind the counter have additional automobile knowledge about a variety of topics in mechanic forces.

CLERK: May I help you?

ME: You carry any MOPAR parts?

I realize it's worse than I feared.

CLERK: Huh?

ME: I need an oil filter for a Cummins engine

CLERK: Ah what?

ME: Oil filter?

CLERK: Yeah, over there by the wall.

ME: Perfect.

I have a 1.5 gallon jug cut open around the neck for catching the oil. I position myself under the vehicle and loosen the 3/4 inch drain plug. As soon as the plug is loose, oil, hot oil starts to flow. Tips of fingers are slightly delicate after making the trip under the vehicle 4 times. Some oil has dribbled on the driveway, not alot but as a matter of principle, I didn't want to spill any.

Visit the above store, decide not to get the 5 gallon open top tub. The Rubbermaid is nice, but alas only three gallons and pricey at $12. But lower near the bottom shelf is what I need. $3 for a open top 2 gallon tub.

Place the tub under the oil pan after leaving the hood open hoping that the engine is much cooler than last time. Crack the drain plug, nothing happens. Open it a lot more. Nothing hap pens. Open it all the way. Oil flies out of the drain hole and in slow motion, hits the bottom of the pan and follows three paths across the bottom of the tub and up in three equal foun tains. On of which is on my shoulder. The oil hasn't cooled enough because it really hurts. My fingers resist having to enter the oil stream to halt the massive hemorrhage occurring.

Finally after halting the flow of oil I try to carefully pull the tub from under the vehicle. Needless to say, with this much oil, it doesn't pull well and more oil slops out. Hard to pour into the 5 gallon storage container. Perhaps this is due to the pain of burnt fingertips. Hum. Is this really cheaper?

I have 3000 miles to figure it out.